Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
