ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
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I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
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My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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