So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
