i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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