oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Randomize
