Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize