if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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