none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
