this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
