he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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