Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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