I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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