they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
