covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
