I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
