I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
