i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
