Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
