Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize