with your own penis?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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