I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
