can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My vagina is very pro this idea
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