Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
