So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
