I got chris browned last night
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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