Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
