dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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