I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
