Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize