Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
