Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
