I can't watch pbs sober anymore
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
