im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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