So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
