she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
