I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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