I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
