He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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