so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
