He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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