no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
