You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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