hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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