PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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