I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i love accidental penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize