just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
