i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
