UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
