I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
