brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
