Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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