Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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