either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
