I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
