just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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