You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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