uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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