Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
