I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
