Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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