Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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