A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
