There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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