Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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